The Lone Marauder: The Story of Remus J Lupin
by Another Wasted Breath
Summary: I used to believe we were invincible, that we would stride through life as effortlessly as we did school. We could stand up against anything together. This, of course was a young boy's rash dreams...This is my story. The story of Remus J. Lupin.
1. Prologue

**The Lone Marauder**

Prologue

I used to believe we were invincible, that we would stride through life as effortlessly as we did school. We could stand up against anything together. This, of course was a young boy's rash thoughts. Hogwarts and the marauders had sheltered me from the cold world. There is no such thing as invincible. There is no such thing as effortless. I learned all of these things the hard way. It was too good to be true, my time at Hogwarts. I had three great friends who accepted me for who I was, attended one of the best magical schools ever known, and was protected and under the most powerful wizard of our time, Albus Dumbledore. This is the story of my life, or what was supposed to be my life...but I'm getting ahead of myself. When I got the bite, it seemed as if my life was over. _Ruined _all because of something my father had said. There was the prospect of never being Welcome in the Wizarding World again. Not being able to find a job was another big one. Plus there was little chance I would even be accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

At the time I wasn't quite old enough to comprehend the entire impact of this, but seeing my mother in a constant state of distress was enough to tell me that it was serious. Sometime around my 9th Christmas she broke. I guess it was all the stress of preparations…the looming dread of my up coming 11th birthday perhaps. We hadn't heard anything concerning my admission to Hogwarts yet. My father had sent a letter to the headmaster concerning me and my condition, and we were awaiting a response. Each day she seemed to become more anxious. It could have been a number of things though, the quantity of which you and I shall never know. These were hard times. Some of the hardest I've ever had to live through, and that's saying something. She had to spend the next 14 months in St. Mungo'sHospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.

Just about a month after my mother was admitted to St. Mungo's, we received a letter. The letter was from Professor Albus Dumbledore, Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts. In his letter, he released some private information that he would be succeeding Armando Dippet as headmaster of Hogwarts the upcoming September. He had heard about my condition and was willing to make an exception. A ray of hope broke through the layer of smog that had built up around my heart over the past few months. I was so excited; I thought it was all just a dream. He said that he would think the matter over and figure out a way to make it possible. From that day forth, Dumbledore was a god to my family. He had given me another chance to prove myself, and I wasn't about to throw it away.

---- _flashback_

Remus waved to his grandmother one last time before stepping onto the train. He took a deep breath and smiled as he inhaled its magical scent. They had come extra early, and the platform was practically empty. A few prefects and their families were standing idly around the platform, but mostly it was awkwardly empty. Remus climbed onto the train and took another deep breath. He slipped inside a compartment to his left, figuring most of them would still be empty. He settled in, stowed all of his things and pulled out a book. _The Dark Arts Outsmarted_. Remus checked his watch. He still had 45 minutes until most of the students would arrive, and an hour before the train would actually be leaving. _Oh well_, he thought, wriggling into a comfortable position in the corner near the window. He glanced out the window. His grandmother had left. He read for a while, completely engrossed in his gook. Slowly people started to filter into the platform, and before long it was packed and bustling.

Remus was incredulous to all of this though, until his compartment door slid open. Startled, he looked up. Two laughing boys stumbled inside, slamming the compartment door closed. "Shhhh!" One of the boys whispered harshly as slapped his hand over the other's mouth. They crouched, chuckling, behind the door, their ears pressed to the wood. They were oblivious of Remus' presence. He studied them. The one with his hand over the other's mouth had jet-black hair that was a complete mess. He had wire-rimmed glasses and hazel eyes. The other had longer dark hair that hung down on his head and shining gray eyes.

Remus lowered his book and cleared his throat. The two boys jumped and turned at the same time.

"Bloody hell! You scared me there mate!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Sorry, we didn't know anyone was in here," said James distractedly. He blinked a few times, taking in Remus' full aura.

"Well, I'm Sirius Black," said Sirius boisterously, bounding over to Remus and shaking his hand.

"Uh, Remus Lupin," he said nervously.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Remus!" Sirius slapped him on the back. "Oh, and this is James." Sirius gestured to the boy with the glasses. He had slid the door open slightly and was peering out.

"Sirius, I think the coast is—Oh! Pardon me," said James turning around and finally joining the conversation. He rumpled his hair and set his other hand on his hip. He hastily shook Remus' hand.

"Sorry about ol'James here. He's a little distracted. Women. Tsk Tsk."

Remus chuckled. James sat down across from Sirius and Remus, his hands folded in his lap. He kept looking anxiously at the door. Sirius nudged Remus and winked.

"Check this out," he whispered. Remus raised an eyebrow but remained silent. "So…James, how about those Cannons…" This seemed to get James' full attention.

"The _Cannons_! Sirius! You know I _hate_ the Cannons!" James changed completely as he ranted. The _real_ James came pouring out. James rattled on about why he didn't like the Cannons while Remus and Sirius sat watching him, highly amused.

"James Potter!" the compartment door flew open and James jumped out of his seat, landing face first in Sirius' lap.

"Bloody hell James!" yelled Sirius, standing up and shoving James off of him. A tall blonde girl with sparkling blue eyes stood framed in the doorway. James scrambled to his feet, grinning like a madman.

"Why hello Ophelia, what brings you to this particular compartment this lovely morning?" he carelessly flicked a stray piece of black hair out of his face, feigning casualness. She rolled her eyes.

"Don't try to pull that on me, I know you too well." Ophelia folded her arms across her chest, covering her gleaming prefect's badge. "I saw what you did to Molly Prewitt back there on the platform." James just continued to grin and stare at her. "James," her tone changed completely, "please tell me you won't be trouble here too…" James' hands moved to his hips and he stared smugly at her.

"I am terribly sorry…but I just can't make any promises at this point in time." He shrugged, a look of mock-sympathy masking his face. She sighed heavily and dropped her hands to her sides.

"Fine. Come with me." She grabbed his arm, mumbling something about trouble and how the train hadn't even left yet. James grinned at Sirius and Remus and wagged his eyebrows behind her back.

After they had turned the corner, Sirius chuckled.

"That there tells you more about James than I could have ever begun to try tell you." He sat down and slapped the seat with another chuckle. Remus sank down next to him, his face drowning in confusion. Sirius stared blankly at him for a second before exclaiming, "Ohhh…I forgot. See, that was Ophelia, Ophelia Norman. She used to be James' sitter. She stayed there a lot during the summer when James' parents were…out." Sirius explained. "James has had a crush on her for a long time, but she's a 6th year, so he doesn't have too much of a chance, but I _wouldn't_ put it past him." Sirius sounded proud.

Remus sat quietly, taking all of this in. He had never _dreamed_ that the train ride would be this way. How could James be so content with being in trouble on **the first day**? Remus was puzzled. Obviously he had no reason to need to prove him self the way Remus did.

"Oh yeah," Sirius chuckled, breaking the strange silence, "mind if we sit here with you? I just remembered we left our trunks in a secret compartment a little ways down the hall. I should probably go get them."

"Of course not," murmured Remus, picking up his book again. Sirius retrieved their bags and sat down on the seat across from Remus, leaning onto his knees and using his elbows to support his upper body.

He stared at Remus for a while before saying, "You don't talk much, do you?" Remus shrugged, turning the page in his book. His eyes never left the page.

"Huh." Sirius stared a while longer before adding, "That can be easily changed…" he grinned mischievously. Remus finally looked up.

"I…just don't have that much to say. I only talk when I have something to say." Sirius let out a loud 'ha!'

"You know," he said trying to be matter-o-fact, "you have _great_ potential. I also reckon, just from how you are taking advantage of this situation, that you haven't ever had any _real_ fun in your life…yet." The same mischievous grin slid lopsided onto his face. Remus carefully set down his book and furrowed his brow.

"Of course I know how to have fu-"

"Silence!" Sirius snapped to a standing position and swept his arm through the air and stopped to point it at Remus, halting his speech. He clutched his heart and grabbed Remus' wrist. "You're reading a bloody book for Merlin's sake! We haven't even left the station! I shall make something out of you yet," he said proudly to the overhead rack. He began to drag Remus from the compartment. His book fell to the ground with a clatter.

"What?" said Remus, completely shocked and even more confused.

"From now on you will be our protégé. 'Our' being James and my _good looking_ self. We shall teach you the ways." He added extra mysterious emphasis to the word 'ways'. Remus was even more confused now, too confused to respond as Sirius pulled him out the compartment door.

**A/N**: Well, I still have a bunch of editing and compiling left to do on the rest of this story, but I got sick of waiting to put it out. It been almost a year since I started announcing I was going to write it. Please Review!


	2. Rescue and Confession

**The Lone Marauder**

Rescue and Confession

Sirius was true to his word. He taught me how to relax and have fun again. From the time that I received the bite and the time I arrived at Platform 9 ¾, I had been under intense pressure for my age. I had been forced to grow up much too quickly. Over the years, Sirius and James began to break through the invisible boundaries I had set up around myself. However, during the end of our 2nd year and the beginning of 3rd, my friends started to become suspicious of my frequent disappearances due to my condition. Every time I would make up excuses, and every time they got more and more unbelievable and I felt even more pathetic reciting them.

Professor Dumbledore had also been true to his word when he had said he would find a solution. He had had a house built off campus in Hogsmeade Village, where I could go when I transformed. An underground tunnel was also built from the grounds to the house, and an enchanted tree planted over the entrance. Now I won't go into anymore boring details that I'm sure you've already heard. Back to our third year…

---- _flashback_

"So…where've you been off to Remus? You were gone for a couple of days again," said James casually, his hazel eyes barely showing over the top of the book he was pretending to read.

"Oh, I, uh, had to visit my grandmother. She's very sick."

"Again?" Sirius interjected, carelessly flicking a piece of lint off his thumb.

"Well she's…old," Remus added lamely, turning his troubled gaze to the dwindling fire.

"Remus…" sighed James, closing his book and adjusting his glasses. "We're your _friends_. We know something's up, we can tell. If you don't tell us we are going to figure it out sometime anyway," he said.

Sirius nodded, "He means it too." Remus sighed. _Couldn't they take a hint?_

"My grandmother's sick…" he mumbled before shuffling up the stairway to the boys' dormitory. His friends just didn't understand. He couldn't tell them the truth. James sighed loudly, sinking into an over-stuffed armchair. Sirius rested his chin in his palms and stared intently at the fire. He shook his head and it fell into his hands. James slouched and sank even lower into the chair, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Well…it doesn't seem as though he's going to tell us on his own," Sirius sighed. James didn't answer. The silence stretched out painfully before James spoke.

"I just don't understand." He managed to croak. "What does he think? That we'll abandon him just because he…well he…he's ill once a month!"

"I don't know," Sirius breathed.

The portrait hole creaked open and Sirius and James both froze and looked up.

"Oh, it's just you Pete…" said Sirius, his head falling back into his hands. Peter was holding a sheet of slightly torn paper under his arm, his wand in one hand and a croissant in the other. He eyed them strangely and slowly sat down on the couch next to Sirius.

"That's quite the welcome…" He said oddly.

"We were just discussing Remus, sorry Pete." Sirius rushed through his apology flippantly. Peter nodded curtly, staring across the room at a lamp, obviously trying to act serious and play along. His gaze didn't leave that spot for the remainder of the conversation.

"I saw Pomfrey take him out to the Whomping Willow again Thursday," said James, awkwardly attempting to continue the conversation, with no real reason. Sirius pushed his long dark hair out of his face.

"We need to tell him. Tell him that we know. I'm tired of not being able to talk to him. Everything is always so tense and strained around him anymore…" Sirius trailed off. James stood abruptly.

"Well…I'm tired of it too." He strode stiffly towards the stairs. Sirius leapt up and followed him, worried out of his mind. Peter groaned silently and gathered his things, toddling behind them, still chewing on his croissant. He hadn't paid attention to any of their conversation and had no idea why they were going up to bed already, but he wasn't about to ask. The looks on both of their faces told him not to. He hurried, so as not to be left behind.

Remus was lying in his bunk, staring unblinkingly at the ceiling when James, Sirius, and Peter burst in. James tentatively checked Frank Longbottom's bed before acting. It was empty. He parted Remus' curtains and stared down at him, waiting for Sirius to stand beside him and Remus to get over the shock of James' bold action.

"James, have you ever heard of privacy? I could have been—" James silenced him with a hand and a serious glance.

"Remus…we, well...we know," he said fumbled with the words. The comment hung in the air awkwardly.

"You know…?" Remus knit his eyebrows, his earlier interrupted comment forgotten.

"About your condition," blurted Sirius. James shot him a meaningful glance and elbowed him for his straight-forwardness, but it was already said. Sirius shrugged apologetically and bit his bottom lip, as to prevent further outbursts. Remus closed his mouth and averted their eyes, his lips pressed tightly together. Peter took a large, noisy bite out of his croissant. Sirius stamped rudely on his foot. They sat in silence for a while; Remus looked 10 times wearier than he had when James and Sirius had inquired of him earlier.

"Well…now that that's settled, how about a midnight raid of the kitchens?" said Sirius turning to the others and clapping his hands together in finality. Remus peered up at the three of them awkwardly. He was in shock.

"You aren't…afraid?" He asked.

"_Afraid!_ Ha! Why in hell would we be afraid of anything?" James said defensively. Remus did have to admit that they didn't look it, and he felt rather stupid because they usually weren't the types that were easily scared. Well…with the exception of Peter of course.

"Well I…then you don't have to be my friends anymore…I'll understand if you, you know…don't want to be around me anymore…" he said miserably. James raised an eyebrow and Sirius looked as if he had just slapped him in the face.

"Bloody…" James shook his head, "not want to be around you?" Have you gone mad?" He sputtered in disbelief.

"Remus, who are you kidding? We are your _friends_ you stupid _ass_!" Sirius added jokingly, trying to sound amused, but still rather tense. Remus was now at a loss of words. This state of shock completely blew how he was feeling before out the window and off the grounds.

"You mean you don't…"

"Wait, wait…wait a second here," Sirius raised his arm to silence him. He hung his head before lifting it and cocking it to the side. "You seriously thought that!" Sirius tentatively laughed out loud. "What kind of friends did you take us for? Did you expect that 3 years of friendship would be thrown out the window just for some…some…_minor_ thing like this?"

"You're still Remus, always have been always will be. You haven't changed a bit. You're still…I mean…its not like you aren't a person are anything," cried James.

"Well…I, I just, I…" but Remus didn't know what to say. He wouldn't call it a _minor_ thing…but this was _definitely _not the reaction he had expected. Sirius sat down on the bed, his face turned softer.

"Remus, we'll always be your friends." Sirius put a comforting arm on Remus' shoulder. Remus smiled weakly. "Did you think that the last 3 years meant absolutely nothing? Besides, James and I have yet to teach you all we know." He chuckled and nudged Remus slightly, easing out a weak smile.

"And we want to help you in any way we can, as soon as we can think of some way," Sirius smiled gently. "And don't doubt it, we _will_ find a way." Sirius' smile elevated to a mischievous grin, standing back up and slowly drawing the curtains. I shook my head. Now there…they were just crazy.

"Now, how about the kitchens?"

----

I never did think of a good way to repay them, although I did do all the little things that I possibly could for them. After a few long weeks of troubled brainstorming, they miraculously found a solution. Or what we, at the time, considered to be a solution. I had not taken Sirius seriously (no pun intended) that night when he said they would find a way to help me. I mean, they were, after all, merely 13 year old boys trying to cheer me up. What were they going to do, invent a cure? They did it though, and decided that they would all become _illegal_ animagi to keep me company while I was transformed. Werewolves don't have the will to kill other animals. It was the _perfect_ plan.

It took them the better of 2 years and _many_ late nights to finally get it right. The risk was extremely high that it would turn out terribly wrong, and we were all slightly wary of Peter. He wasn't quite as bright as James and Sirius, to put it bluntly. He struggled in school where they breezed through it like it was nothing. Now that I think back on it, I wonder at how we even became friends with him, odd as that sounds…

Sometimes I wonder if we weren't the cause of his turn to the dark side. He was vulnerable, and more times than none, we took advantage of him. He was so eager to befriend James and Sirius that he would often do the grunt work for them, such as standing guard, delivering messages, etc. It's not that we didn't include him, we just didn't include him when it mattered, is what I guess I mean to say. Neither of us will ever know this for certain of course. There is no use dwelling on the past. I've learned this lesson the hard way.

But back to the point. While in their animal states, Sirius, James, and Peter would roam the grounds and forest with me. They turned some of my most dreaded nights into some of my most memorable. James and Sirius, having transformed into fairly large animals, could keep me in check the majority of the time.

Now, I'm sure you've heard of Severus Snape before, and this is where he is about to enter my story. Severus Snape was a Slytherin in our year. He was greasy and nosy, and was generally after James and Sirius for all the trouble they caused. Over the years, Severus grew to utterly loathe Sirius and James, particularly James. The hatred was mutual. I think it was in part that Severus was a bit jealous of James for all of his talents, but this is yet another of the mysteries you and I will most likely never solve. As the feud progressed, James and Severus would hex or curse each other anytime they possibly could. They never spoke anything but harsh words to each other.

Severus, being as meddlesome as he was, took notice of how often I disappeared. Sirius, thinking he would silence Severus' assumptions and whisperings, and also get back at him for being such an annoying git, told Severus to follow Madam Pomfrey and myself out to the Whomping Willow the next night. He then instructed Severus to follow and touch the knot hole and climb into the tree after me. Severus would be in for a big surprise…

---- _flashback_

The sky had just settled into darkness. The moon was still low in the sky, and the stars were only starting to appear as distant glinting lights. Remus twitched in the darkness.

"Now, now dear," Madame Pomfrey cooed, "just a little bit longer." Remus glanced with contempt at the glowing full moon and twitched again. The air was eerily still and the forest particularly quiet. As they neared the Whomping Willow, Madame Pomfrey pulled out her wand. She carefully touched a particular knot on the tree and it ceased to thrash. Remus removed the invisibility cloak from around his shoulders and slid down an opening at the base of the tree. Madame Pomfrey folded the invisibility cloak, touched the knot again, and hurried inside.

A figure stirred in the shadows, unnoticed by both Remus and Madame Pomfrey. It lurked for a moment longer before creeping towards the tree and touching the knot…

----

"Are you finished yet Wormtail?" James whined impatiently, flicking a piece of paper from the table. Peter frowned at his practically blank paper, his left eye twitching oddly.

"Uh, yes." Peter lied. He closed his book and stowed his things in his bag.

"Great!" James sprang from the couch and sprinted up the boys' staircase. Peter and Sirius followed at a slower pace, but hastily putting away their things nonetheless. They crept from the dormitory, careful not to wake Frank, for no particular reason but human instinct. Once they had all descended the stairs, James flung an invisibility cloak from under his arm out into the air and covered himself and Sirius. Peter transformed and they were off.

They walked briskly through the castle and shed the cloak once they were outside. James hid it in the bushes and prepared to transform. Just as Sirius was about to transform himself, James stiffened and put a hand out to stop him.

----

Remus was sitting awkwardly on one of the torn sofas inside of the Shrieking Shack. He tried not to think of what was to come, but the moonlight spilling in through the boarded up windows was a constant reminder. He folded his arms tightly and leaned over, resting on his knees. As he stared blankly at the beams of moonlight making lines on the dirty floor, he shivered, and a sudden fit seized him. His back arched to an inhuman extent and he was thrown to the floor by some unseen force. The pain was unbearable. His eyed streamed and he kneeled on his hands and feet, letting out a scream that would have stopped anyone dead in their tracks.

Fur sprouted across his body and he grew, his bones shifting and tearing. He hunched over, still cowering on his knees, and howled loudly. He snarled and tore at the sofa he had just been quietly sitting on.

----

Sirius chuckled a bit, but it was strained.

"Please don't tell me you had anything to do with this." said James through gritted teeth, his arm restraining Sirius.

There at the Whomping Willow stood none other than Severus Snape. Yes, the very same Snape James and Sirius happen to loathe. He stood awkwardly a few feet away from the tree, obviously trying to figure out exactly what he had to do to restrain the thrashing willow.

"Prongs…just, just hear me out here." Sirius said carefully, turning to face James, and ultimately putting himself in between James and the tree. James's hands balled into fists. He saw Snape slide down the hole at the base of the tree over Sirius's shoulder.

"Do you realize what you've done?" said James coldly, pushing past Sirius and pulling out his wand. He strode quickly toward the tree. Sirius ran to catch up and again placed himself between James and the tree.

"James, James, JAMES!" yelled Sirius, putting a hand on James's chest. James glared down at him. "Think about what you're doing. Think about _who_ this is again. Snivelly? You really care about greasy old Snivellus?" Sirius looked at James with complete incredulity.

"Sirius! Think about this for a minute!" said James, waving his arms wildly. "I don't think you truly realize exactly what will happen down there if we don't do anything." Sirius was suddenly offended.

"Whose side are you on James? Why are you suddenly trying to protect him? He's _Snape_! Who really cares about what happens to him?" Sirius was yelling now. James merely looked at him in surprise before pushing past him again and sprinting towards the tree.

----

Remus fought to control himself, but the wolf in him had taken over and he gave in. He could vaguely feel the pull of his teeth as he ripped through tough fabric. His muscles ached with disuse. He longed to run. Run. Tear. Bite. Rip. Kill.

----

James threw himself down the hole at the base of the tree. He transformed into his stag form and galloped down the tunnel toward the Shrieking Shack, his head numb. He had one focus. Get to the Shrieking Shack.

He burst in to find Remus backing Snape into a wall covered in gashes. Both Remus and Snape turned at the noise of James's hooves. Snape gaped as in disbelief; as wasn't merely a stag he was seeing, but the Fat Lady in a bathing suit.

"Bloody hell…" he muttered in disbelief. He scowled, obviously sensing some sort of plot against him, being the cynic that he was. First a werewolf…now a stag?

Remus merely glanced at James before turning back to Snape, licking his foaming lips slowly and deliberately. Snape's back was now against the wall. He pressed himself against it, subconsciously wishing it would just disappear. He stared scathingly at his wand which lie on the ground about 20 feet away.

Remus began to pounce, but James was too quick. He shoved Remus aside with his antlers, hurling his cross the room into an armchair. Remus howled angrily, a trickle of blood running down his snout. He licked it away and snarled. Snape merely stood, frozen against the wall.

_Run you idiot, RUN! _ James screamed in his head. Remus jumped at James, teeth gnashing wildly, and caught him off guard. James was pinned to the ground in a second. James felt Remus's hot breath on his face as Remus let out a low growl.

_My meat._ His eyes glared deep into James. James, finally catching his breath again, kicked his legs as hard as he could. Remus flew back against the wall. A terrible scream mixed with pain and anger split the air. Snape finally snapped out of his initial shock and sprinted for the door.

Just as he was reached the door, a large black dog came bounding in, knocking Snape off of his feet.

"Bloody HELL!" he screamed. "What is going _on_ here?" He threw his hands in the air. The black dog tackled Remus, who had been heading for Snape.

_Sirius! _James thought, relieved. With their combined strength they could usually keep Remus under control. Across the room, Snape had stood, but he was leaning his head against the wall, trying to catch his balance. James glanced at Sirius and Remus, both engaged in a vicious battle, before charging at Snape. He nudged him from behind slightly, using his antlers to push him towards the exit. Snape cursed, rubbing his back, but James was insistent. He urged him into a sprint back down the tunnel towards Hogwarts.

James pushed Snape up the opening and quickly transformed back to his human state. He followed Snape out of the tunnel to see Dumbledore running faster than he had ever seen an old man run before. Snape stumbled and collapsed in a heap on the ground, letting out a low moan. James couldn't help rolling his eyes as he made his way to the heap of greasy black robes. _It wasn't as if _he _was the one who actually _did _anything._

"Pussy…" he muttered under his breath, rubbing the back of his head. It was wet and sticky with blood.

Dumbledore knelt down next to Snape, checking a few of his vitals. He then looked up at James, who was taking his time to get to they spot where Dumbledore knelt. In that second, an understanding passed between them. Dumbledore broke their intense gaze with a slight nod, and quickly conjured a levitating stretcher. He moved Snape onto the stretcher with his wand. James caught up and Dumbledore didn't meet his eyes, merely said, "I need to know exactly what happened."

A/N Wow it's been a while. Really sorry about that, but I was a lot busier than I had expected. I really will try to update sooner than last time, that was really ridiculous. PLEASE REVIEW!


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